Grieving - Pet's Death

I remember awhile back I was at the dog park and a nice young girl who is a regular at the park was sitting on the bench crying.  I asked her what's wrong.  She looked at me and said, "I miss my dog."  I thought to myself, wow, her pup has been gone for a few months now.  I didn't get it then.  But I get it now.  It's happening to me.  I've been reading a lot about grieving the loss of your pet.  Those bursts of tears are normal and they can occur for months and months. I've been on edge, not myself since the loss of Ollie.  I'm unmotivated.  I haven't been on the treadmill all week.  It's been a challenge to put on a happy face to appear everything is okay.  But it's not.

This evening while walking Ralphie, two different neighbors ironically asked me about Ollie.  Ollie hasn't been able to take walks for about a year.  They haven't seen Ollie for a long time.  But this week, two separate times, two different neighbors asked me about Ollie.  Was it the look on my face that showed there's something horribly wrong in my life?  Probably.  My life is not normal.  I'm sad, very sad.

Even though I have Ralphie with me, there is an eerie lonely feeling in my house.  I miss when I walk in the house after work, to lift up my little fur ball and kiss him and take him outside.  I miss holding him in my lap, rubbing his ears.  I miss his feistiness.  I miss his licks, his kisses.  I miss his excitement when I'm getting his dinner ready. Oh, Ollie I miss you so much.  I can't stop myself from crying uncontrollably.  I keep thinking of our last goodbye.  You were my little boy that I loved so much, oh why did this day have to come.  I miss you so much my sweets.

I love you Ollie.