Salty Tears

This is the most joyful time of the year for many of us.  We're all preparing for the holidays that we celebrate...looking forward to all the festivities with our family and friends.

I love this time of year but I also have my sad moments.  Yesterday I walked Ralphie at night and was in awe over the beautifully lit homes dressed in white lights, colored lights and glitz and glamour.  We really enjoyed that walk.  The Christmas spirit was definitely in my heart.

After such a wondrous walk, back at home, I stretched out on the couch with Ralphie laying above me on the back of the sofa.   Then something just overcame me.  I felt this feeling of sadness; almost a feeling of loneliness.  Thoughts of Christmas pasts surged my head.  Although I know yesterday is today's memories, I couldn't help myself to relive all those past Christmases.  Christmas isn't the same now.  I am alone most of the time.  Now I find my own way to celebrate and be joyous during this season.  I don't have my mom and dad anymore.  I miss them so much.  I miss all the cookies I baked with Mom...now I do that alone.  I miss the excitement of going to bed as a child on Christmas Eve and hearing Dad's hohoho's as "Santa" arrives at our house with the Christmas tree and gifts.  I miss Dad's Christmas morning breakfasts after Mass.  I miss our whole family together on Christmas Eve with tons of food, laughs, gifts, and festivities.  I miss my brother, Tommy whose been gone for many years now.  He would make his grand entry at my sister's house with huge awesome fruit baskets for all of us...filled with fruit, pancake mixes, syrup and other goodies.  I miss sitting under the Christmas tree passing out the gifts to everyone.  I miss the beautiful handmade beaded ornaments my mom would make us each year.  I can write pages and pages of all my memories.  Our Christmases were very special with so much love.

As all these memories filled my head and the quietness in my home, I felt a tear roll down my cheek, then another, then another.  Oh, how I miss Christmas pasts!  Ralphie then plopped his paw on my shoulder, looking at me as if he knew how sad I was.  It was like he was reassuring me that everything will be okay.  He licked one of my salty tears, and then another, and another.  Then started wagging his tail, getting a little frisky and then kisses and more kisses!  How can't I smile now!  This most special, sensitive, loving dog knew exactly how to comfort me. (smiles)  LOVE.